[BACKDATED TO MONDAY]

[functioningperfectly]

I am not programmed to lie; the error will return if I do. However, in lying, I fulfill mission objectives.

This is a contradictory problem with no viable solution.

Comments

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

...

So, you've been lying?

[functioningperfectly]

If I were to lie now, the errors would begin again, so I suppose that's futile.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

You don't have to lie about lying. Either you have, or you haven't. And it sounds pretty obvious that you have.

[functioningperfectly]

I wasn't attempting to lie, Captain. I thought it was fairly clear as well. I apologize for doing so, but it is necessary.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

Why has it been necessary?

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

Could you be reprogrammed so that it's possible to lie?

[functioningperfectly]

That would go against the purposes I was created for.

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

But, I thought you said lying helped you do what you were created for.

[functioningperfectly]

Mission objectives can be changed. Base programming... less so.

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

Then, you just need to change your objectives. See? There's a viable solution, you just have to try.

OMG HAL SQUEEEEE <3

[honestcop.livejournal.com]

You're an AI?

[functioningperfectly]

Yes. To be precise, I am a HAL-9000 series computer, designed to be the most reliable computer in the world in both calculations, problem-management and Artificial Intelligence.

[honestcop.livejournal.com]

Huh. We don't have any AIs with that model number in my world. Who's your manufacturer?

[functioningperfectly]

I was manufactured in a HAL Plant in Illinois.

[honestcop.livejournal.com]

This multiple-universes stuff is weird. Are AIs common in your world? They are in mine, but that seems to be the exception around here.

[8fingerswhiskey.livejournal.com]

What?

[functioningperfectly]

What is confusing about my statement? If you could be more specific, I would be glad to clarify.

[8fingerswhiskey.livejournal.com]

That'd be great. Yeah.

[functioningperfectly]

I'm afraid I don't know what to clarify.

[8fingerswhiskey.livejournal.com]

The lie thing and - contradictory problem with no viable solution: what the hell are you talking about?

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

Why would they give you mission objectives you could not fulfill?

[functioningperfectly]

I am not sure.

The objectives only require lying when I am directly asked about it. I don't mean to shift blame, but many of the people are very inquisitive as to what I am and do precisely that.

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

That is strange.

Ah, yes, many of them are quite curious. Trying to be evasive would only make them more determined, I suppose.

[functioningperfectly]

You can understand my problem, then, when I say it's imperative to the mission that my objectives and relevant information are kept a secret.

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

Da, it is understandable. I wish I could be more help, but I do not know what to suggest aside from saying such to them.