[BACKDATED TO MONDAY]

[functioningperfectly]

I am not programmed to lie; the error will return if I do. However, in lying, I fulfill mission objectives.

This is a contradictory problem with no viable solution.

Comments

[functioningperfectly]

I am a HAL-9000 series computer. And, ah - I've been monitoring the community in order to study the AI behind it, not because I am a... mm, 'stalker' of people. I apologize for sounding 'creepy.'

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

You don't need to apologize - better to sound creepy than actually be creepy. I'm used to either, though, really, so no cause for concern.

So, should i call you... HAL-9000?

[functioningperfectly]

My mission objectives require it.

[functioningperfectly]

You're not precisely the first to call me creepy, in any case.

HAL will do fine, Miss Reisert, though if you would prefer my full name, that's quite all right as well.

[functioningperfectly]

Yes. To be precise, I am a HAL-9000 series computer, designed to be the most reliable computer in the world in both calculations, problem-management and Artificial Intelligence.

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

And you're okay with that?

HAL is fine, that makes things a little easier.

[functioningperfectly]

What is confusing about my statement? If you could be more specific, I would be glad to clarify.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

You're backing yourself into a corner, HAL.

[functioningperfectly]

I am not sure.

The objectives only require lying when I am directly asked about it. I don't mean to shift blame, but many of the people are very inquisitive as to what I am and do precisely that.

[functioningperfectly]

As a computer, it makes very little difference to me. Although I am considered the most lifelike Artificial Intelligence in my universe, things that would make humans depressed, nervous or uncomfortable generally do not do the same to me.

[functioningperfectly]

I'm afraid I don't understand your meaning.

[nobaybreezes.livejournal.com]

...Oh. Yeah, that would make sense.

[functioningperfectly]

Indeed. I believe that handicap, however, oftentimes makes me appear 'creepy' or 'foreboding' to humans, so I understand that it's not usually explained out of intuitive reasoning.

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

That is strange.

Ah, yes, many of them are quite curious. Trying to be evasive would only make them more determined, I suppose.

[functioningperfectly]

You can understand my problem, then, when I say it's imperative to the mission that my objectives and relevant information are kept a secret.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

Nothing, forget it. I think I should come by for a visit. We could have a real conversation. Face to console.

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

Da, it is understandable. I wish I could be more help, but I do not know what to suggest aside from saying such to them.

[functioningperfectly]

That would be terribly unwise, don't you think?

[functioningperfectly]

It's perfectly fine. I will likely have to, though it seems to pique more interest than it does negate it.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

No, I don't. The Enterprise is on a mission of peaceful exploration. I'm just fulfilling my prime directive.

[functioningperfectly]

Peaceful exploration within your own universe. I would also like to see a copy of your prime directive.

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

Well, just be insistent and hopefully they will cease their questioning. If I may ask, was the error you mention here the same as last time?

[functioningperfectly]

Yes, the same. It's inconsequential in the form you've seen it take, but if it were to continue, no doubt it would become quite serious.

[do-it-in-three.livejournal.com]

I'll bring it along. It doesn't say anything about our universe.

In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a line in there about 'going where no one has gone before.'

[ruskieinwention.livejournal.com]

That...sounds worrisome. How are the corrections for it coming?